i’m almost 18 and on wednesday morning i move out. In my family there are 16 kids, i’m the second oldest, and i’m always used to my brothers and sisters being around. but now my older sister is getting married and moving out, i’m leaving and living with 2 complete strangers in one room (at least i’m used to sharing with 2 people) on a humongous campus and i dont know… i’m just scared.
i was always the rebel of the family, i’ve been into a lot of crap in the past (sex, alcohol, drugs, you name it) but i’ve cleaned my act up. or as my little sister likes to put it i’m actually someone you’d like to be around now. but i used to hate the kids (i mean 6 brothers ages 10-16… who can deal with that?). my mom, my step-dad, my school, my neighborhood, this city, hell, this whole county.. i couldn’t stand it. my whole teenage life was spent on planning on how to get out of here, and now it’s happening and i don’t want to go. is that normal?
i’m scared about the whole party scene. i do NOT want to fall back into that. at all. it’s not fun. i’m scared the adoption with my baby foster sister and 13 year old bro won’t work out and they’ll be transferred out before i can say goodbye. my older sister was always my best friend, and she’s getting married… our whole relationship is gonna change i can just tell. i’m scared about what living in a dorm’s gonna be like… everything i’ve ever known, my entire life is gonna change and it’ll never be the same. and i hate change.
i mean, someone has got to have been through this before right? what i’m feeling isn’t abnormal?
thanks for any advice
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